I was dating a guy for a little over 4 years when he asked me to marry him. It was in that moment that I realized I was gay. I should have been happy, should have cried tears of joy that the love of my life wanted to be with me forever, but I wasn't and I didn't. I cried, but cried for the true me that was dying slowly inside. I said yes, afraid of the stigma that came with being gay when I was young. We have been married for 17 years and I am content with my life, but I can't help but regret my choice. My first thoughts when I wake up and last one when I go to sleep begin and end with my homosexuality and desire to be my true self.